Okay, maybe the title of this post is not the proper idiom to describe what exactly is happening. Down to the wire refers to any situation whose outcome may not be decided until the very last moment, that it is still possible to do something. Anyhow, it does have something to do with what I'm about to write.
So.. let's begin with this. Here I am tonight. In front of my PC doing completely useless things which is such a waste of time. Surfing the internet, stalking some random people's facebook accounts and pictures, while thinking about this and that, looking at some old photos of me from randomly chosen old picture album folders... til' several hours ago, brought me to this album entitled "My Sweet Sixteen"
I double-clicked it and saw some pictures of me with my 10th grade friends, white-faced smeared with whipped cream from the cake some of them gave me, surprisingly. Looking back, it feels like it happened just a few days ago when, in fact, happened exactly a year and a day ago. Yep, it is now (right now when I'm typing this) 4 hours left until I'm officially turning 17.
Wait a moment.. SEVENTEEN, are you freakin' kidding me?!
Nope. Well, if only I were. But no, it's true. 17. I know, crazy riiiiiite? The all-time-whining childish girl is about to leave her 16-year-old label.
Some people think that being 17 is something special, which explains why most girls at my school celebrate it. In this country, when you are 17, you'll have your own citizen ID. You are allowed to drive, smoke, and get to access everything. Everything here means EVERYTHING. It's because everything that is allegedly inappropriate for little children requires us to at least be 17 to be able to access it. It's like when you're 17, there's a big sentence written in big letters on your head "Officially Mature" and then you get to do anything you like. Ridiculous, huh?
To me, 17th birthday is just like the other 16 birthdays I've ever had. You know what they say-- becoming old is inevitable but becoming mature is an option. Ironically, I've been thinking about me being such a super awful human-being for 16 years I've lived. I don't mean to be ungrateful, and I don't deny that I've been blessed with soooooo many inestimable things that are indefinable. It's just.. me. The thing is me, all problems lie within. So it's the maturity I'm worried about and many people are still questioning.
I'm simply aware of how immature I am. How I'm still burnt with jealousy when I see people I'm not really fond of get anything in any field better, how I strongly stick with my ego and be totally careless with other people, how I judge and dislike people without knowing the reason why, and how I am reluctant to apologize to other people if I think I'm completely innocent and shouldn't be blamed for what they're mad at. What a full-of-hatred arrogant person. Writing all of these stuffs makes me even more realize of how very, very far I am from the word mature.
Hence here I declare: a few hours away before my birthday, I apologize to every one of you who knows me and reads this, for such childish acts, abominable manners, and offensive words, and that I am totally willing to start everything all over again. I know that not everyone, especially those whom I send my sincere apology to, read my blog. But believe me, I am really really sorry for everything that I've done. And this is the only thing I can do in the last minutes; blog it.
Well, I wish by this, I could start to redefine myself and be a million times better a year ahead and forever. Amin.
17, are you ready? :p
5 comments:
you know what? I do feel the same thing. what you wrote reminds me that I'll also be 17 this year and the word "maturity" does make me afraid of it :/
well, how can u write it in a very cool way? haha emang paling TOEFL deh
Wow, I guess most of us also feel the same thing, then. But I believe you're still much more mature than I am (pssh like you already are), don't worry ;)
you think it's cool? I think it's simply because I exaggerate some sentences hahaha. Thanks anyway! gausah bawa-bawa TOEFl plis -,- LOL
sometimes, I can be a bit mature, and usually I'm soooo childish. that's the fact :p haha I found the key then, exaggeration
btw, how can I follow your blog?
yep, that's the key. you should totally try it hahaha. I myself don't even know how to let people follow my blog, there should've been blogger's navbar where the 'follow' button is above the header but it somehow doesn't show up -.-
but I've put followers' gadget so you can simply click follow there :)
extremely excellent, marvelous... speechless.. amazing, how did you write those remarkable writing, would u teach me??
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